


one again after the fall

by ancientdeceiver



Series: all caps exchange [3]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, finding your soulmate makes you immortal, which is so fucking romantic i'm going to cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-07-18 20:44:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16126379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ancientdeceiver/pseuds/ancientdeceiver
Summary: Collins starts by introducing himself, but all Jojo can think is how much his forearm itches.





	one again after the fall

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ghosthunter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghosthunter/gifts).



> ok so there’s a really long, really boring story of how i came to choose this story to do for the exchange. i’m not going to bore you with it but long story short: this was my original plan but then i stopped being motivated and inspired to write it so i started working on another one BUT then i realized it was really bad and was going to seem super rushed so i decided to work on this one again and i really liked how it came out and hopefully you will too
> 
> anyway this is the third caps exchange i’ve worked on and it’s always so much fun i can’t wait to work on the next one!
> 
> title is lyrics from _aerials_ by system of a down, which is my favorite song right now (and possibly ever)
> 
> enjoy :)

There’s a bad, ugly feeling deep in the pit of Jojo’s stomach the moment he finds out that humans can, in fact, die if they don’t find their soulmate.    
  
He’s only ten when he finds out, and it’s totally by accident. As in, he walks into his brother’s girlfriend breaking up with him. She’s crying, her mascara is running down her cheeks, and down her neck, ends up all the way down her chest. She's crying a whole lot and Jojo starts to get worried. She’s screaming and crying at the same time, telling Jojo’s brother that she can’t be with him anymore because their marks are red, red like Jojo’s favorite popsicles, not white. Now, Jojo pays enough attention in school that he knows red marks are only for people who are in love, or that simply just love each other, not soulmates. Soulmate marks are white, and the fucked up thing is that other people can tell when a person has found their soulmate, but the marks themselves only become visible to the person when they’re ready to settle down and be with their soulmate for good. Soulmates often have the same symptoms during their first: meeting,  _ skin to skin _ contact, and even first kiss.

  
People don’t ever talk about the black tally marks. Black tally marks are for people a person has loved that has died, black marks that stay on a person forever, a constant reminder that the person is no longer with them, will never be with them ever again.   
  
Case is, Jojo’s brother’s girlfriend - former now, Jojo thinks - is breaking up with him because their marks are only red, not white. She says she needs to find the person that makes her get a white mark; she wants to live and love forever, she doesn't want to die. At this point, Jojo is confused as fuck, because he thought all humans lived forever and the only ones that did die were the ones that got really sick.   
  
“What do you mean you can die if you stay with Martin, Agnes?” Jojo says, finally letting them know that he’s been there for a while, just listening to them argue. “I thought people didn’t die unless they got really sick? You don’t have to worry about getting sick, Martin is going to medical school, he’ll take care of you.”   
  
“Oh sweetheart,” Agnes says, wiping her tears, and squatting so she’s face to face with him. From the corner of his eye, he can see Martin turn away, and shake slightly, like he does when he’s crying. “I’m sorry. Sometimes things don’t work out, and I’m afraid this is one of those times. I still love you and your brother, but I just can’t be with Martin anymore. Please don’t hate me.”   
  
“Don’t be sorry, Agnes, I don’t hate you. But why do you have to leave? Martin loves you, I love you, mama and papa love you.”   
  
“I’m sorry, I just have to.”   
  
Agnes wipes her tears again, and stands up. She takes one look back at Martin, who is still turned around crying, and leaves.    
  
Jojo is confused, but doesn’t try to stop her.    
  
\/\/\/   
  
Jojo really wishes he’d stopped her because Martin is absolutely miserable the next few years, and all through medical school. He buries himself in his work, and rarely goes out. When he does go out, he comes back absolutely hammered, which results in him arguing with his parents and storming up the stairs, and slamming his door so loud he wakes Jojo up. He says he’s not sad, but Jojo can see right through him - no one acts the way he does and is happy with it, there’s just no way.

“Your soulmate is out there somewhere, I promise,” Jojo always says when he’s trying to cheer Martin up. It never works, but Jojo will keep trying until Martin meets his person. 

\/\/\/

Jojo’s sixteen when Martin moves to America, to its main city; Jojo follows him two years later, to go to college, but mostly to become independent. He doesn’t really know what he wants to do yet, but he’s got more than enough time to figure that out.

\/\/\/

Someone bumps into Jojo the first day of college, knocks him down on his knees, and it’s the first time that semester that he’s glad he decided to wear his normal jeans instead of his shorts.

“Sorry, I bump into you, but I’m late for class,” the person says, which makes Jojo turn around and look up at him. His left forearm starts to itch like crazy, and for a bit he’s tempted to scratch it, but then the guy is offering his hand to help Jojo up. Once Jojo’s up, the guy looks uncomfortable for a second before he scratches his right forearm. Weird, but not unusual. Ever since the spider problem they had in the dorms a couple days back, everyone seems to be at least a little bit itchy.

“That’s ok,” Jojo says, and dusts himself off, even though he probably didn’t get his jeans dirty at all. “Wait, actually, what time is it?”

“9:26, uh, morning,” the guy says. 

“Shit. I’m late for class too.”

“What class you go to?”

“Violation of human rights, the first part of that class anyway,” Jojo says. “You?”

The guy laughs, and says:

“Well, we better run fast. I hear Collins closes door if you not there exactly on time.”

\/\/\/

They make it inside just as Collins is closing the door. It could be the fact that it’s the first day of the semester, or maybe the way Jojo’s face looks like when they finally reach the door, but Collins just sighs and waves them in. The class is small - only about a hundred students or so - for a huge university like theirs. They find seats quickly, however, despite how packed it is; the only seats they do find are two of them, right in the middle of the room.

_ It really could be worse,  _ Jojo thinks to himself,  _ at least it’s not the front of the room. _

Collins starts by introducing himself, but all Jojo can think is how much his forearm itches.

\/\/\/

“Again, sorry for run into you earlier,” the guy says, after class. “I didn’t look where I go because I was too busy being dumb. I’m Evgeny, and I not always run into people in the hall.”

“Sure,” Jojo jokes, laughs a little to let Evgeny know that he’s not actually mad at him. “I’m Marcus, but you can call me Jojo, all my friends call me that.”

“Oh, so I am friend even after I knock you down?”

Evgeny’s smiling, and even though Jojo’s forearm is itching like crazy, Jojo smiles back and nods.

\/\/\/

As the semester goes on, Jojo doesn’t get to hang out with Martin a whole lot. They text more than anything, but sometimes, mostly on weekends, they call each other. Face to face meetings are a different story. Since the semester started, which is nearly halfway done, Jojo and Martin have seen each other a grand total of  _ one  _ time, and that was when Martin came by to make sure he was settling in ok.

But then one day, the week before midterms, Martin surprises Jojo after his 4pm class is over. Martin is standing outside of his dorm room, leaning against the wall, on his phone, probably texting his new girlfriend. Jojo smiles, he hasn’t seen Martin this happy since he met Agnes.

Martin looks up as Jojo’s nearing his door; Jojo lifts his left arm up to wave, but then Martin’s face goes white, and he almost drops his phone. 

“When did it happen?” Martin asks, in a weird state of shock, as soon as Jojo gets close enough. He then grabs Jojo’s left arm, and runs his fingers over his forearm. He looks simultaneously as if he’s just uncovered the eighth wonder of the world  _ and  _ like someone’s just died. “You have to tell me  _ when  _ it happened. Jojo, please, this is amazing.”

Jojo looks at his forearm and is so fucking confused, he thinks Martin might be running a fever and delirious, because it’s blank, there’s absolutely no marks or blemishes on it.

“No offense, but I think you’re losing it a little,” Jojo says, and finally pulls his arm from Martin’s hands. He takes his keys out of his front pocket and opens the door to his room, leaves it open so Martin can come in too. After Martin shuts the door, Jojo speaks again, “What are you even talking about?”

“The mark. It’s  _ white,  _ like really fucking white. I didn’t know you were seeing someone, why didn’t you tell me you were seeing someone, a soulmate someone.”

Jojo just laughs at Martin; this must be some sort of joke Martin is playing.

“Are you hungry? Did you eat yet?” Jojo asks, instead trying to change the subject. “We can go out to dinner, if you want, but you’re paying because I haven’t found a job yet.”

“You’ve found your fucking  _ soulmate,  _ isn’t this a big deal?”

Jojo just shrugs.

“Not really. I think you’re joking with me, because don’t you think I would be able to tell when I’ve met my soulmate?”

Martin shakes his head.

“Johansson’s have  _ never  _ been able to tell when they’ve met theirs,” Martin says, and then laughs a little. “Why do you think it took mom and dad almost  _ twenty years  _ to realize they were each other’s soulmate? Because they couldn’t fucking tell that they were each other’s soulmate, that’s why.”

“You’re fucking ridiculous.”

Jojo’s laughing on the outside, but on the inside, there are butterflies in his stomach at the thought of having already found his soulmate. He starts wondering what they might look like, whether it’s a classmate or just someone he’s seen in the hallway, or maybe even a professor.

The possibilities are endless.

\/\/\/

The only reason why Jojo asks Evgeny about the supposed white mark on his forearm is because the thought of having met his soulmate, but not knowing who they are, is eating away at him. He spends most of his time, time when he’s not stressing about school work, thinking about what his soulmate could be doing or who they could be with.

What if they’re in a happy committed relationship and Jojo just walks into their life and ruins it?

Sometimes the thought is too much to bare. 

So one day after class, Jojo invites Evgeny back to his room. 

“My brother says I found my soulmate,” Jojo says, and shows Evgeny his left forearm. “Do you see anything? Please tell me the truth, I don’t want to keep thinking I’ve found my person if I really haven’t.”

Evgeny examines Jojo’s forearm carefully, and Jojo almost wants to snatch it back because it itches so damn much. But he doesn’t. Jojo doesn’t want Evgeny to think anything is wrong, or that he’s hurting him, but his arm itches more the longer Evgeny’s touching it. 

Finally, after a while, Evgeny drops Jojo’s arm and looks at him.

“Maybe he really wants you to find soulmate?” Evgeny asks, and he looks like he feels sorry for Jojo, which, Jojo absolutely  _ hates _ . “Maybe-”

“Stop trying to make excuses for him,” Jojo snaps. “It doesn’t matter anyway, not like I need to find my soulmate and tie myself down to one person for the rest of eternity.”

And sure, he’s completely lying to himself, but Jojo doesn’t really give a fuck anymore. His brother’s a liar that will never change because he lied about the one thing Jojo made him promise never to lie about, and now, Jojo’s not so sure he can really trust him anymore.

\/\/\/

Jojo makes it a mental goal to never think about finding his soulmate again. He doesn’t care that there’s a possibility that he might never find them if he keeps up with this mindset, and it’s just something that he’s going to have to live with, but he’s not going to keep weighing himself down with this.

So he goes on with his life, pretending there’s no such thing as a soulmate.

He meets the most beautiful girl with short, curly brown hair and the most breathtaking green eyes, halfway through his sophomore year. Her name is Julia and she’s a transfer student, halfway done with her bachelor’s degree in political science. She says she doesn’t know what she’s going to do after she’s done; if she’s getting her master’s or going to law school, it’s still up in the air.

Thing is: they become close, like, really fucking close. Boyfriend-girlfriend close. 

So, Jojo does the sensible thing and asks her out. He takes her out to dinner one night, and pops the question right before they get dessert. 

She says yes, of course.

He swears he can feel true happiness then.

\/\/\/

Julia becomes such a big part of Jojo’s life that maybe he neglects his other friendships a little, namely his friendship with Evgeny -  _ no,  _ it’s  _ Kuzy  _ now because they’re best friends, not strangers, ok. 

It’s a good month and a half before he gets the chance to tell Kuzy that he’s seeing Julia, which makes him feel like an awful friend, mainly because he doesn’t really make the time to  _ see _ Kuzy, and _ talk  _ to him, too busy spending time with Julia at her dorm room, mostly making out and making her laugh. He likes that too much, so he doesn’t really  _ want  _ to make time for Kuzy. And, it makes him feel like an even  _ worse  _ friend.

So he intentionally runs into Kuzy after Kuzy’s  _ Women and Politics  _ class, but then  _ Julia  _ runs into them, which, right, Jojo forgot Kuzy’s a political science major as well. 

“Well, this is awkward,” Julia says, and laughs. “This is the guy I was telling you about, my boyfriend Marcus. Babe, this is Evgeny.”

“Yes, we know each other,” Evgeny says, throws Jojo a look that he’s seen a thousand times before, a look that screams  _ what the fuck.  _

“Yeah, we met our first day of freshman year,” Jojo says. “We were running late to the same class, and he’s still stuck with me. Can you believe?”

Julia laughs, and Jojo laughs with her, but Kuzy doesn’t. 

“Yeah, stuck.”

Julia doesn’t seem to catch that, so she goes on to make plans for Jojo and her to go out to dinner that night, even offers to bring Kuzy along, which he declines, says he’s got too much work to do; Jojo knows him better.

“Well, I got to get to my next class,” Julia says, then kisses Jojo on the lips. “Bye babe. Bye Evgeny, see you tomorrow for that fucking essay quiz, which by the way, is fucking ridiculous. Who the fuck makes a quiz an essay?”

“I know, right? Crazy.”

Julia laughs, then walks away. 

Kuzy walks away also, but doesn’t say anything. Jojo doesn’t follow after him, not right now, anyway. He’ll talk to him soon enough. 

\/\/\/

It seems that Kuzy makes it a point to avoid Jojo because Jojo can’t fucking seem to catch him for at least two weeks. Finally, he gets Kuzy one night - after waiting outside his dorm for  _ two fucking hours _ \- when Kuzy goes out for a midnight snack at the vending machines down the hall.

“What’s been going on with you?” Jojo asks, and he can tell he spooks Kuzy a little because Kuzy’s breath catches. “You haven’t talked to me in a while.”

“What? Like you talked to me all time when you met Julia?” Kuzy asks, turns around and looks at Jojo, and it’s maybe a little nasty, which Jojo hasn’t heard from him before. Neither of them move, just stand there outside Kuzy’s door. 

“Come on, that’s not fair, we were getting to know each other. I really like her, ok?”

“Fine, I’m sorry. Should not say like that. I just don’t know why not tell me before, I thought we are best friends.”

Jojo sighs.

“It all happened really fast, ok? Not that I didn’t want to tell you, because I did, but it just happened.”

“I’m not mad,” Kuzy says, and grabs Jojo’s left arm, pushes his sleeve up and traces the red tally that’s recently made its home on the pale skin on his forearm. Jojo almost wants to tell him to stop it because it itches so much, but he doesn’t want to ruin the moment. “I’m happy for you. Just wish you made time for your friends too.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll do better now. I swear.”

“Good. You want snack? I bring five dollars.”

Jojo smiles and wraps his fingers around Kuzy’s forearm. 

“I get the honey bun.”

“Fine.”

\/\/\/

Things between Jojo and Julia go well, really well, in fact. At least, that’s what Jojo thinks. Julia breaks up with him the week before finals, the last final exams she’ll take at that university because she’ll be going off to law school on the west coast next semester.

It breaks Jojo’s heart, but not as much as he’d expected, given how he feels about her. 

He’s too busy trying not to cry over the fact that he got dumped for fucking law school that he doesn’t notice there aren’t any marks on Julia’s arms, no white marks, and definitely no red marks either. 

\/\/\/

The night before their graduation, they drink. And they drink a lot. Which, is probably  _ the worst idea ever  _ considering they have to walk the stage the next day. They lay in Jojo’s bed, in his new apartment, Kuzy’s head on Jojo’s shoulder, Jojo running his fingers through Kuzy’s hair. 

“I love you, you know that?” Kuzy says, out of nowhere. “Even if no red mark on my arm, I still love you a lot. Every day since I meet you I wish you are my soulmate, but no white mark on my arm, no anything. But I love you forever.”

It leaves Jojo speechless, so quiet for a while. Eventually, Kuzy reaches up and touches Jojo’s face, maybe to make sure he hasn’t fallen asleep. Just before that, though, Jojo sees a white mark on Kuzy’s forearm. He lets Kuzy touch his face, blinks to let him know he’s still awake. But then, Jojo lifts his own left arm up and to his surprise, sees a white mark on  _ his  _ forearm.

“How are you so sure that I’m not your soulmate?” Jojo asks, trying to sound as calm as possible. It is true that the Johansson’s have never been good at being able to tell when they’ve met their soulmate, but something in Jojo’s gut tells him that he’s found his, and he’s laying on his chest right now. “You can only see your soulmate marks when you’re ready to be with them, you know that, right?”

“I know, but,” Kuzy says, and then goes quiet. Jojo sees the moment Kuzy realizes that there’s a mark on his forearm, a  _ white  _ mark. He sits up - Jojo follows him up - and immediately turns around to face Jojo. He takes his arm and sees that there’s also a white mark on  _ Jojo’s  _ forearm. He traces it with his fingers, but it no longer itches. “Four years. Four fucking years you with me, and I don’t know. Four years.”

Kuzy takes Jojo’s face in his hands, pulls him closer. 

“I’ve been here all along.”

“Four years.”

An invisible weight is lifted off Jojo’s shoulders when Kuzy kisses him, four year’s worth.

**Author's Note:**

> also i’ve been wanting to write this soulmate au for the longest time and i’m glad i finally got off my ass and decided to write this for someone
> 
> you can reach me over @ancientdeceiver on twitter/tumblr
> 
> thanks for reading :)
> 
> ps i really do want to write a little follow up to this in which i adress the whole immortality thing, but life is really in the way right now which sucks :(
> 
> 14.10.2018


End file.
